Sometimes I like to drive through the cemetary when I am out and about around town. I don't stop really, don't get out of the car, just drive slowly by my Dad's grave to see his name.
Tonight I did a drive by with Owyn and Zoee. It sparked the following conversation:
Owyn: How old was I when Grandpa died?
Me: You were one. I wish he was here now. I wish he could know you and you could know him.
Owyn: I DID know him.
Me: Yes, you did. He held you on the day you were born. But I wish he could know you NOW as a big boy.
Zoee: Did Grandpa hold me?
Me: No. He died before you were born.
Zoee: Oh. (she seemed sad to be left out of the story so I wanted to come up with something to comfort her.)
Me: But maybe you met him in heaven, while you were waiting to be born and join our family.
Owyn: No, I think the people who died are in a different room from the tiny babies. It's like train compartments, you know, where there are different levels? The tiny babies are in one comparment, and the people who died are in a different compartment. I think it's like that.
A little background...
Owyn was only two when I was pregnant with Zoee, and he had asked where babies come from. I told him that babies wait in Heaven until they find a family they want to join. So Zoee was in Heaven just waiting for us to be ready for her, and then she was sent to our family.
It was very hard for me when I was pregnant with Zoee to think of having a baby that my Dad would never get to hold or meet. So I comforted myself with the belief that maybe my Dad met Zoee first. That they had crossed paths in Heaven and he guided her to our family.
It has always been important to me that my children believe that my Dad is always in their hearts, and that he is in Heaven watching over all of us. And even though I know Owyn doesn't understand death or Heaven, and he can't possibly remember being held by his Grandpa, I love that he THINKS he knows all the answers.
And that he goes with me to the cemetary when I need a quick drive-by.
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